Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it’s your stupidity.

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I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
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Practice makes perfect…..
But nobody’s perfect….. .
so why practice?

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If it’s true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
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Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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How come “abbreviated” is such a long word?

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Money is not everything.
There’s Mastercard & Visa.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
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Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.
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The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.

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Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.

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“Your future depends on your dreams”
So go to sleep

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“Hard work never killed anybody”
But why take the risk

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“Work fascinates me”
I can look at it for hours

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God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

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The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.

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A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station….
what more can I say……..

Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize what a gold mine you are, doesn’t mean you shine any less.

Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out that you can’t be topped, doesn’t stop you from being the best.

Just because no one has made this race worthwhile, doesn’t give you permission to stop running.

Just because no one has realized how much of a woman you are, doesn’t mean they can affect your femininity.

Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level, doesn’t mean you have to sink to theirs.

Just because you deserve the very best there is, doesn’t mean that life is always fair.

Just because god is still preparing your king, doesn’t mean that you’re not already a queen.

Just because your situation doesn’t seem to be progressing right now doesn’t mean you need to change a thing.

keep shining, keep running, keep hoping, keep praying, keep being exactly what you are already:…

Being an awesome woman!!!!!

Forwarded Email, very nice!

Girls want to control the man in their life.
Grown women know that if he’s truly
hers, he doesn’t need controlling.

Girls check you for not calling them.
Grown women are too busy to realize you
hadn’t.

Girls are afraid to be alone.
Grown women revel in it-using it as a
time for personal growth.

Girls ignore the good guys.
Grown women ignore the bad guys.

Girls make you come home.
Grown women make you want to come home.

Girls leave their schedule wide-open and
wait for a guy to call and make plans.
Grown women make their own plans and
nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.

Girls worry about not being pretty
and/or good enough for their man.
Grown women know that they are pretty
and/or good enough for any man.

Girls try to monopolize all their man’s
time (i.e., don’t want him hanging with
his friends).
Grown women realize that a lil’ bit of
space makes the “together time” even
more special-and goes to kick it with
her own friends.

Girls think a guy crying is weak.
Grown women offer their shoulder and a
tissue.

Girls want to be spoiled and “tell”
their man so.
Grown women “show” him and make him
comfortable enough to reciprocate
without fear of losing his manhood.

Girls get hurt by one man and make all
men pay for it.
Grown women know that that was just one man.

Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly
after the object of their affection,
ignoring all signs.
Grown women know that sometimes the one
you love, doesn’t always love you
back-and move on, without bitterness.

Girls will read this and get an attitude.
Grown women will read this and pass it
on to other Grown women and their male
friends

One day Satan and Jesus were having a
conversation.

Satan had just departed
from the Garden of Eden, and he was
gloating and boasting.

- Isn’t it funny how you
can repost a thousand jokes through
bulletins and they spread like
wildfire, but when you start sending
bulletins regarding the Lord, people
think twice about sharing?

- Isn’t it funny how I
can be more worried about what other
people think of me than what God
thinks of me.

Facts …

1. Chewing on a gum while cutting onions can help a person stop producing tears.
2. Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time.
3. Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name.
4. Male mosquitoes are vegetarians. Only females bite.
5. The average person’s field of vision encompasses a 200 degree wide angle.
6. To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if its sounds hallow then it is ripe.
7. Canadians can send letters with personalized postage stamps showing their own photos on each stamp.
8. Babies’ eyes do not produce tears until the baby is approximately six to eight weeks old.
9. It snowed in the Sahara Desert February of 1979.
10. Plants watered with warm water grow larger and more quickly than plants watered with cold water.
11. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
12. Grapes explode when you put them in a microwave.
13. Those stars and colors you see when you rub your eyes are called phosphenes.
14. Our eyes (pupils) are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
15. Everyone’s tongue print is different, like fingerprints.
16. Contrary to popular belief, a swallowed chewing gum doesn’t stay in the gut. It will pass through the system and be excreted.
17. At 40 centigrade a person loses about 14.4 calories per hour by breathing.
18. There is a hotel in Sweden built entirely out of ice; it is rebuilt every year.
19. Cats, camels and giraffes are the only animals in the world that walk right foot, right foot, left foot, left foot, rather than right foot, left foot.
20. Onions help reduce cholesterol if eaten after a fatty meal.
21. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.