My world crashed after I left the doctor’s clinic, I went to give him the results of my mom’s 2D-Echo exam and Chest X-Ray and what I found out was crushing the life out of me. I mean I’ve known all along that her condition was worst given the years that she’s been suffering it but to have it confirmed by someone in authority is just too much.
It’s scary to know that I dont have much time to spend with the one person who mattered and that I could be losing her any day soon. The doctor said if only we were in the States a lung transplant would have been needed but even that could not be a guarantee she’ll last long. There’s even a huge chance that she wont survive the operation. What we can do right now is help her breathe by means of an in house oxygen set-up at home. And boy would that not cost me much! 15 hours of oxygen daily is a bit too much and that would restrict her movements. I didnt tell her that the oxygen is just to prolong her life, cant voice it out, I’d burst into wails if I do. But then she’s smart and I’m sure she’s figured it out already, we seem to have a mutual agreement that some things are better left unsaid.
I’m stuck, I’m scared and worst of all I think I’m getting paranoidal. I cant contemplate life when she’s gone. I dont want to think about it but given the situation its hard not to.